Pre-Abuse Grooming

The first stage in child sexual abuse can be a series of subtle behaviours and statements which is often referred to as "grooming."

Generally, sexual abuse does not occur at random, but is a result of the selection of certain children for grooming in the role of victim. Grooming, which can take many forms, is an insidious and malignant process of child seduction, leading to sexual exploitation and abuse.

Initially, in the induction or pre-recruitment stage, the child may be flattered by the attention of the adult, and respond to the preferential treatment they receive from the perpetrator. Children most at risk for grooming are children who have experienced a significant degree of emotional, social and economical disadvantage.

Generally, some form of relationship between the victim and the perpetrator is established prior to the initiation of sexual advances. The sexual initiation phase is a key turning point in the relationship between the adult and the child, and its significance is rarely acknowledged by the child, whose response may range from complete denial and emotional paralysis on the one hand, to outright protest and rejection on the other. Unfortunately, the former is the more usual response, and perpetrators typically gamble on the likelihood that the relationship between them and the children (e.g., father/daughter) immobilizes the child’s natural defense system.

Experienced perpetrators have an uncanny knack of predicting just how far their actions can proceed before alienating a child victim. Grooming is complete when the relationship progresses to a stage of entrapment where the children experiences themselves as having no choice but to participate in the sexual act.

 

Common Tactics of Sexual Abusers

• Paying attention to a child who appears emotionally needy
• "Accidentally" or purposefully exposing yourself (coming out of the bath, wearing shorts that allow a view of the genitals, openly praising nudity as "normal", etc.)
• Giving gifts, money, taking the child places, providing alcohol or drugs
• Bringing yourself down to the child's level of play (becoming the child's "buddy")
• Physical contact such as wrestling, tickling, pats on the butt, etc.
• Showing adult magazines or films, letting the child know he/she can come to you for sexual information or concerns
• Telling the child that you need to examine his/her body for some reason
• Intrusive questions about the child's sexual development, fantasies, masturbation habits, or giving the child more information about sex than is appropriate for the child's age or developmental level
• Staring at the child or looking at his/her body in a way that makes him/her uncomfortable.